Concept versus Premise

By Michelle Barker and David Griffin Brown

Facing down the start of a novel is a daunting prospect, but there are tools that can make it a little easier.

Often an author starts with a concept, or what we like to think of as a what if question.

·         What if children were forced to fight to the death on live television as punishment for a failed rebellion? (The Hunger Games)

·         What if a recovering alcoholic took a job as the off-season caretaker of a haunted hotel—and slowly lost his mind under its influence? (The Shining)

·         What if an aging fisherman, long past his prime, set out alone and caught the biggest fish of his life—but had to fight nature and time to bring it home? (The Old Man and the Sea)

These types of questions are sparks. Sparks can start a fire, but they won’t keep that fire going unless you hammer out a premise.

What Is a Premise?

A premise is a developmental tool that can help you not only draft your novel but keep you on track as you write it, making sure your characters continue to reflect the story’s central problem or theme. In fact, a strong premise should form the backbone of your story. Without it, there’s a good chance that spark will take you about ten thousand words into your story, and then: you’ll get stuck. Or as Chuck Wendig puts it, you will feel like an old man lost at the mall. You’ll sit at the food fair for days. You won’t remember where you parked your car, or if you even have a car.

And no one wants that. So let’s dig into the components of a strong premise.

A premise should contain:

• a conflict
• a problem to solve, or a question to answer
• a compelling character with something to lose (high stakes)
• the possibility of escalation

The Conflict: A premise should create instant friction—between people, values, desires, timelines, or survival. This will be the lifeblood of your story. Think opposing forces.

The Problem/Question: A premise sets something in motion. It introduces a problem or mystery that won’t go away on its own. Something that must be fixed, uncovered, escaped. If your premise causes readers to lean forward and think, Wait, how will that play out? you’re onto something.

A Compelling Character: Your protagonist should be defined by the premise. It should matter to them urgently. The best premises force change. And the stakes should be personal. Ask yourself: What will it cost your protagonist if they fail?

The Possibility of Escalation: Things should be able to get worse (and they can always get worse). The answer or resolution should not be obvious or easy. Think about how pressure can build over time.

A Toothsome Example

Let’s look at a story that most readers are familiar with: Jaws. What is the concept in Jaws? If we formulate it as a what if question, it might look like this: What if a great white shark was preying on the inhabitants of a beach town?

Great idea. But of course, that’s only the beginning.

Peter Benchley throws in several complications: The police chief wants to close the beaches, but the mayor doesn’t want to lose tourist dollars during the busy summer holidays. The shark attacks are hushed up. It turns out the mayor has ties to the mafia, and the police chief’s wife is having an affair. And the police chief has a deathly fear of the water.

So what might a premise look like for Jaws?

When a great white shark begins killing swimmers off the coast of a small resort town, a city-born police chief with a fear of water must overcome political pressure and personal terror to hunt down the predator—before more lives, including those of his own family, are lost.

Here’s how it breaks down:

·         Conflict: Man vs. nature (the shark), man vs. society (the town/mayor), man vs. self (fear of the water).

·         Problem to solve: How do you stop a killer shark when the town refuses to acknowledge the danger?

·         Compelling character: Brody, an outsider, afraid of the ocean, tries to protect people who don’t trust him.

·         High stakes: Lives are at risk. His family is in danger. His integrity is on the line.

·         Escalation: The shark doesn’t go away. More people die. Pressure mounts until they have to go on the hunt for the shark.

Still Stuck?

Turn to Goodreads book summaries. Look at a series of blurbs and analyze them. What is the premise?

We’ve taken this at random off David’s Goodreads recommendations page:

The Black Echo by Michael Connelly

“For maverick LAPD homicide detective Harry Bosch, the body in the drainpipe at Mulholland Dam is more than another anonymous statistic. This one is personal… because the murdered man was a fellow Vietnam “tunnel rat” who had fought side by side with him in a hellish underground war. Now Bosch is about to relive the horror of Nam. From a dangerous maze of blind alleys to a daring criminal heist beneath the city, his survival instincts will once again be tested to their limit. Pitted against enemies inside his own department and forced to make the agonizing choice between justice and vengeance, Bosch goes on the hunt for a killer whose true face will shock him.”

Here we have a protagonist whose primary goal, to solve a murder with connections to a larger criminal organization, is complicated by (a) corruption in his own police department and (b) the resultant internal conflict of justice versus vengeance. That the killer’s face will shock him implies a twist, quite possibly a betrayal by one of his colleagues. Deepening the situation is the backstory of the Vietnam War. The protagonist will have to relive a part of his past he hoped was buried forever.

Let’s break it down.

The premise: When LAPD detective and Vietnam vet Harry Bosch discovers that his comrade from Vietnam was murdered, he’s pulled into a case that forces him to confront buried trauma, navigate departmental enemies, and choose between justice and revenge.

• Conflict: Bosch vs. the killers; Bosch vs. internal police corruption; Bosch vs. his past.
• Problem to solve: Who killed the man from his unit, and why?
• Compelling character: Bosch is a haunted, principled loner with a soldier’s code—his internal drive sets him apart.
• High stakes: This is personal—his past and sense of identity are on the line, not just his job.
• Escalation: The deeper he digs, the more tangled the conspiracy becomes—and the more the enemies close in, even within his own department.

In Conclusion

Having a powerful concept for your novel is important, especially when it comes time to pitch the idea to agents and publishers. But a high concept isn’t enough to build a book on. A strong premise will take you all the way to the end of a draft and hopefully also keep you from wandering around in the mall.

Michelle Barker is an award-winning author and poet. She is the co-author of two craft books: Immersion and Emotion: The Two Pillars of Storytelling and Story Skeleton: The Classics. Her fiction, non-fiction, and poetry have appeared in literary reviews worldwide. She has published three YA novels (one fantasy and two historical fiction), a historical picture book, and a chapbook of poetry. Michelle holds a BA in English literature (UBC) and an MFA in creative writing (UBC). Many of the writers she’s worked with have gone on to win publishing contracts and honours for their work. Michelle lives and writes in Vancouver, Canada.

David Griffin Brown is an award-winning short fiction writer and co-author of Immersion and Emotion: The Two Pillars of Storytelling and Story Skeleton: The Classics. He holds a BA in anthropology from UVic and an MFA in creative writing from UBC, and his writing has been published in literary magazines such as the Malahat Review and Grain. In 2022, he was the recipient of a New Artist grant from the Canada Council for the Arts. David founded Darling Axe Editing in 2018, and as part of his Book Broker interview series, he has compiled querying advice from over 100 literary agents. He lives in Victoria, Canada, on the traditional territory of the Songhees and Esquimalt Nations.