Clash of the Query Letters 2022—2nd Place

Congrats to Jena Brown on winning second place in our first-ever Clash of the Query Letters contest.

Dear Agent:

I’m excited to submit my debut, WHAT DIES IN VEGAS, an adult science fantasy novel complete at 97,000 words. It will appeal to fans of CLERKS mixed with the dark humor in SOUTHERN BOOK CLUB’S GUIDE TO SLAYING VAMPIRES by Grady Hendrix and the gritty mystery of CERTAIN DARK THINGS by Silvia Moreno-Garcia.

Three hundred years ago, Lola Monroe climbed out of a plague pit tired of everyone’s shit. Her attitude served her well in the vampire world. Until she killed the wrong bloodsucker. Betrayed by her power-hungry girlfriend, Lola is exiled from vampire life and sentenced to work 100 years of customer service.

Halfway through her sentence her ex finds her working graveyard in a Las Vegas 7-Eleven with a deal that’s too good to be true: hunt down a rogue vamp scientist in exchange for freedom. There’s just one catch. She’s kidnapped the one human Lola cares about as collateral.

Lola is quickly thrown back into the world of lies, secrets, and vampire politics. When she discovers an underground blood club tied to missing homeless persons, she has to make a choice: allow humans to become zombie blood bags, or start a war with the most powerful vampires in the world. She should have called in dead.

For nearly fifteen years, I worked as a management consultant for a global convenience store chain. All of the scenes inside the stores are true. The vampires are not.

When slinging Slurpee’s became too glamourous, I turned to writing. Currently, I write for The Lineup, The Portalist, Murder & Mayhem, Dark Matter Magazine, The Nerd Daily, Truity, Insider, and Kwik Learning. My short stories can be found in the anthologies WHAT ONE WOULDN’T DO and BEACH BODIES. When I’m not writing, I’m being bossed around the Las Vegas desert by my two chihuahuas.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing back from you.

Warmest Regards,

Jena Brown, author of WHAT DIES IN VEGAS

Jena Brown grew up playing make-believe in the Nevada desert, where her love for skeletons and harsh landscapes solidified. A freelance writer, she currently contributes to Kwik Learning, The Nerd Daily, The Portalist, Murder & Mayhem, The Line-Up, Insider, Truity, and Dark Matter Magazine. You can find her short stories in the anthologies, What One Wouldn’t Do and Beach Bodies. In addition to writing, Jena blogs at and is active on bookstagram as @jenabrownwrites. When she isn’t writing, she and her husband are being bossed around the Las Vegas desert by their two chihuahuas.

About the Darling Axe

Our editors are industry professionals and award-winning writers. We offer narrative development, editing, and coaching for every stage of your manuscript's journey to publication.

Work with a professional fiction editor from the Darling Axe: manuscript development and book editing services

Book a sample edit with a professional fiction editor from the Darling Axe: manuscript development and book editing services

Darling Axe Academy – Query Quest: a self-paced querying course

Related Posts

Clash of the Query Letters—3rd place
Clash of the Query Letters—3rd place
"Crossing The Wilds on a bicycle with her baby in tow, Ina battles tornados, wild ostriches, and kidnappers."
Read More
On the Beaten Path: How to Use Beats in Fiction
On the Beaten Path: How to Use Beats in Fiction
Honor the tiny beat and it will carry the weight of a whole character for you.
Read More

Leave a comment

Name .
Message .

Thanks! Your comment has been submitted for approval. Please be patient while we weed out the spam ♥